My father once told a young woman, a lingering hippie who had inhaled the spirit of our age, that she didn’t have to act on her feelings. She said, “Really?” she had never heard that before. She’d always assumed that to be “true to yourself” meant you had to act on your feelings. The conversation was a moment of liberation for her. She realized that when we follow our feelings, we eventually become trapped by them. They define us. We think we can’t love our spouse because we don’t feel like we love him or her. We’ve defined love as a feeling over which we have no control. We are trapped.
Paul Miller, A Loving Life, pg 33.